Since the beginning of an active sensible conversation the communication has grown exponentially and now there is too much noise with communication happening seamlessly.
Everyone wants to be heard, but sometimes it can be hard to get people’s attention or get above the noise. Most of us might have experienced, feeling like you are the only person in the conversation.
If you often feel like you are talking to yourself in conversations and meetings, it’s possible you are the problem. Here are a number of communication mistakes followed by solutions that makes people become unreceptive in conversation.
We as humans must stop whining as it’s doesn’t help the whiner and sends out a strong message to the listener that it’s difficult to work with you, as you complain all the time and it’s better to stay away from you. One must use caution and take time articulating, washing negative sentiments away from their speech is the first step before opening their mouth.
Keep “YOU” out of the equation when it comes to context
Communication is an interaction between multiple people and when you are thinking or speaking only of yourself, you are being narcissistic and selfish. Tray and empathize with people so you can connect with them and engage with them on an emotional level.
You won’t shut up.
If you go on and on in a superfluous manner, not only you are boring your audience to death, they also won’t engage or connect with your story /context. At some point, they will just tune out. Keep conversations short and crisp and please quit long sermons.
Rude with a capital “R”..NEVER INTERRUPT
When people are speaking, cutting them off mid-conversation will break their chain of thought or logical progression and is highly likely to offend them. Then, instead of listening to your new thought, they will be busy thinking about what an insensitive prick you are. Hold your horses or excitement take time to compose your thoughts and take notes with your own thoughts and give others a chance to finish.
Avoid starting conversations with, “Actually, you’re wrong.”
Source: Giphy and thinkingrightblog
When you start a conversation like that you might as well imagine your listeners to be deaf to your conversation. Belittling someone’s thoughts or ideas, you ignite a wildfire of raising their inner voice and brain will now find ways to find how to bring you down by proving you wrong. Always consider other’s ideas and state your own merits, it’s not always about winning the conversation.
When you cry wolf multiple times, people will catch your drama and no one will believe a word you’re saying. All the drama you’ve created will repel people away. Worst damage you can do to your self is losing your credibility for when there is actually an important message you need to get across.
You don’t care about what you’re saying.
People can easily tell when you don’t believe in your ideas and thoughts. If you don’t feel excited and energetic about what you’re communicating, what’s the point in saying it? Save your talking for the times when you have conviction and meat in topics for conversation. Don’t open your mouth just because you have one.
You don’t know what you’re saying.
Information is easily accessible thanks to GOOGLE. People can easily tell when you are communicating beyond your expertise and scope of knowledge, and they are not afraid to call you out on it. Most times they just shut you off in their head. Be smart and only offer opinion or your expert advise when you are asked for and always leave room to learn from others when you can’t.
Train of thoughts
Where was I? What was I saying?? Forgot your line/s, when you are trying to get a point across, check if people are still following you. If you choose to bring out of context references please ensure you connect it back to the original topic of conversation or you will distract your audience. Think through what you want to say. Stick to the topic and use relevant references and don’t bounce around different topics.
What you are saying is not important.
People who talk nonstop about nothing in particular just to hear themselves talk. That’s only acceptable if you are only interested in talking to yourself. Useless chatter will drive away people who value their time. Ask yourself if what you have to say is truly important.
“The secret of boring is to say everything.” – Voltaire
What you are saying is irrelevant
Only if you enjoy irritating people, just infuse random thoughts into important conversations.
People are constantly evaluating your intelligence by what comes out of your mouth. Don’t give them a reason to lower their opinion.
Contribute to the conversation in a productive forward moving way.
Don’t start conversation with, “I’m sorry . . .”
Source: Buzzfeed and completelyseriouscomics
Unless you are a Canadian 🇨🇦 or you are Breaking Up or you have actually offended someone, starting your sentences with an apology is like apologizing for your very existence. Be strong and confident with your communication. When your words and presence add value, you don’t have to apologize.
You don’t stick to your promise
Trust establishes the relationship between people when they want to hear and listen to people. If you promise on delivering something and then don’t do it, they have no reason to listen to you and trust your words again.
Practice what you preach. People who say one thing and do another are either hypocrites or liars, and either way they lose their right to be heard.
You never take action on what you hear.
People connect with people who are worthy of their time. People who contribute little of value generally won’t earn the time and attention of those who contribute much.
But that doesn’t mean you become their mom, raising concern is good only when you think the person is not capable of handling the situation on their own, give people room to grow and let them act, decide and handle situation on their own.
You’re always negative.
Constant pessimism turns out to be demotivating and painful. You don’t have to be a cheerful optimist 24 x 7, but if nothing positive comes from your mouth, people won’t be interested in much you have to say. Find the bright spot and share it, keep conversations light, don’t overthink and stress out trying to blow things out of context.
“Share positive energy, make your world better so world is better for people around you.”
You never listen to anyone else.
Effective communication is a reciprocative process. If you aren’t an active listener with the people around you, then they will feel the same level of obligation or desire to listen to you.
Make active listening as a first priority. You’ll be surprised then how often you are invited to share your opinion with an attentive audience.
Here are a few tips on How To Improve Your Listening Skills
Source: Learning Heroes
Please share with friends and leave your comments on how you feel/felt unheard.